Why I Stopped Defending Vision Therapy

I used to have the urge to prove myself in the land of vision care, especially when someone questioned or attacked my methods and ideas. “I need to say something to show that I know my stuff!” But now, I’m more of the “what’s the point?” mindset. It’s not like you can change many minds by somehow demonstrating your ways are better. Think about it. When is the last time someone approached you outside the Vision Therapy world to say the following?

“Well you and I disagree about (given topic), but you have made such a good argument that I’m going to alter my belief system. In fact, you were so right, I intend to change my entire life!”

Not sure about you, but no one has ever said those words to me.

People will disagree. It happens all the time at work, at home, online, at the airport, etc. You name the place, I’ll show you disagreements.  But why should we feel the need to defend ourselves? Why do we allow others to hold our ideas hostage as we fight for them?

Seems like a waste of time. Why do we care if people disagree with us? Does it really matter if my methods for baking a cake are different than yours? You shouldn’t need to prove why your ideas are the best. If you like them and your cake tastes good, go with it.

The idea of there being a “best” plan or treatment seems to be less and less accurate. Surgeons recommend surgery because that’s their job. Why do we expect something different or paint it with a dirty brush? Why did we ever worry about what they think? Let’s try to be free of our own egos. We don’t need to prove them wrong and we don’t need to prove how smart we are. The people that need us and are open to our methods will find us, just like many before them. All we need to do is be ready to help them.

The best advice I’ve ever received has to be to “be yourself“. Uncomplicated advice that has proven, at times, to be difficult to put into practice. I think Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best:

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment”.

It seems the wiser we are, the less we feel like proving it. For a long time, it used to baffle me as to why doctors would come to me looking for treatment ideas. I would wonder “aren’t YOU the doctor?”. In retrospect, many times I had no clue what I was doing, but none of those doctors, not one, ever told me my ideas were awful. And most of them are brilliant, but they never assumed they knew it all. Wise people never think they know it all.

Since I’ve quit an active defense of Vision Therapy, I’ve been free to think and do whatever is best for the patients I work with. I know my desire to help people is amongst my core values and I try to steer clear of things that may harm the common good. As long as I abide by those rules, the need for a strong defense evaporates.

The longer I stay in this profession (now 22 years and counting), the more I find people reaching out for advice. Most of them are already great at what they do but are still thirsty for different perspectives. Sometimes they agree with my suggestions; sometimes they don’t. All have been respectful. And truth be told, I often learn things from them, too.

Oddly though, some of them try to prove me wrong. Asking for a suggestion and then trying to prove it wrong is someone living in a very disparate world. A totally different mindset altogether, actually. They seem to need to defend their point of view. I used to respond, in kind, but nowadays, I simply have no urge to engage in the battle. My overriding thought is simply “have fun with that“. We both are entitled to our separate ideas, why try to defend them? Clearly, you didn’t come to me looking to be convinced. If I ever got that sense, perhaps this post would be about that. I will share my opinions when asked, but beyond that, there’s not much to say. And if someone disagrees; so what? They have every right.

But when people stoop to moronic levels, sometimes it feels good to tell them. An opthalmologist recently told me that I should give up on Vision Therapy because one doctor he knew way back when “screwed some kid up”. Oh really? It doesn’t take a genius to understand that medicine is an imperfect science, and we all make, and hopefully learn from, our mistakes. The need for malpractice insurance is proof positive.

With the advent of social media, our society is becoming more and more transparent, and throwing medical stones is a bad idea. Doctors throughout history have made mistakes. Does that mean we should discard their ideas? Probably not. We can learn from everything. Penicillin, after all, was discovered by mistake. That’s how I look at it. Stay humble and keep challenging your own ideas and you will keep learning. That’s what really matters.

“I attack ideas. I don’t attack people. And some very good people have some very bad ideas. And if you can’t separate the two, you gotta get another day job.” ~ Antonin Scalia (Former Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States)

It seems a lot of people defend their ideas because they become their beliefs. The challenging of ideas becomes a personal attack and they feel the need to defend themselves. It took me a long time to learn, but when I feel myself getting angry, I tell myself: “It’s just an idea, it’s not me.”

To be sure, getting angry over someone attacking an idea is not worth it. That’s why when it comes to Vision Therapy, I’m not incredibly attached to my ideas. If someone presents something better than what I am doing, I abandon my method, knowing I can always circle back if need be. I want to be loyal to family, close friends, and to those who have helped me along the way; but not to ideas. That just seems silly.

Ideas are inexpensive and everyone can come up with them. I’m only concerned with what works in practice, given the current circumstances. If you have a better way of doing things, I will happily listen. But ultimately, the decision to change is mine.

Vision Therapy is an idea that doesn’t need us to defend it. It just needs us to work it, listen to it, massage it, maintain a level playing field mentality, and to give it our best self. Some of the most challenging questions have come from some of the newest among us. Yes, they have good ideas, too. And for the naysayers, their ideas are different and that is just fine.

So friends, remember we are all different, and it seems we run into problems when we try to convince others that our ideas are best. Be your best self, put your full heart into what you believe to be helpful, and let others do the same. That is the only honorable way to go through your life – as yourself.