Kicking My Atlas…

I’m a helper; a fixer. Between working as a paramedic in my early years and a Vision Therapist in the more recent years, I have spent more than half my life trying to improve the lives of others. I’ve found that much like other personality traits, being a fixer has its pros and cons. This trait has certainly served me well in my career choices, yet can become problematic in my personal life. If I had a dollar for every time in my life I’ve heard “I don’t want you to fix this, I just want you to listen.”, I likely could have retired yesterday.

In recent weeks, I’ve been trying to take a good look at my people skills. I do well in social situations, and probably even better in the Vision Therapy room, but something has been missing that I’ve not been able to put my finger on. I’ve had conversations with friends about compassion, empathy, validation, and empowerment; which were all enlightening, but did not touch exactly on the puzzle piece I was looking for; and so my search continued.

This past weekend, a dear friend suggested I read “Atlas of the Heart“, by Brene Brown PhD, MSW, so I decided to give it a whirl. As a Vision Therapist, and even more importantly as a human being, this may have been the single most important decision I’ve made in the last few years.

In her writing, Brene Brown makes a hard charge both at dissecting and explaining the gamut of human emotions and how they influence and interact with each other. She discusses the bravery in being vulnerable, the difference between compassion and empathy, and the many ways we, as humans, wield sarcasm as a weapon that has no option but to wound, regardless of our intention. She talks about how to acknowledge someone else’s current emotional and mental state in a healthy and non-threatening way, all the while conveying the idea that communication is not about who wins and who loses; rather, how well the involved parties work together to share a message.

As someone who works with people, and whose patients benefit (or not) from my ability to read their body language, validate their struggles, and understand the impact of their emotions on overall performance, this book has been absolutely incredible.

Life-changing, in fact.

So if you are open to the idea, and are interested in having your understanding of the human emotional map turned on its head, you might want to consider this read.

Even better, listen to the audiobook, which is narrated by Brown herself, as the inflection in her voice and the emotion in her words make her message all the more tangible.

Cheers!